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much, the outlook of your talk for it to have the desired affect should be like this: while I trust you and respect you right to your friends as I know that you only me and would never cheat, this situation makes me uncomfortable it would probably make you uncomfortable too, if the roles were reserved let's brainstorm and what can we do so that you don't feel like I am controlling your friendships but at the same time I also don't feel slighted for example, we can do things like: can we out all together at least fro part of the time, or can have an agreement that you are always back by midnight (and on those nights that you are out I might go out with my own friends and also be back by midnight), or right before you go out on something that looks too much like a date, we'll have sex so that you don't get all turned on by your male friends that night.
-threat it like a family puzzle you two can solve, not like she is a villain and you are a saint kinda thing.
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Here is a theory on relationships that I learned from a man named Barney Stinson..
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I still have people texting my that I wish I hadn't given my number to.
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Some women and men need friendships with the opposite sex that might include flirting even if they are married, the key to not letting it spin out of control is talking about it openly and agreeing on some rules that are acceptable to BOTH of you.
She might not be romantiy interested in that guy at all but might enjoy his attention.